GiveUsLiberty believes pencils to be alarming and dangerous. These "deadly weapons" should be banned from all citizens. Especially innocent children.
Just think of all the hell a child could create armed with a deadly wooden and lead pencil (not to mentioned the cushioned rubber end with a jagged metal coupling). Not only could a child inflict injury to himself with a splinter to the hand or a jab to the eye, but he could also impose his wielding liberty to negatively influence those within his immediate vicinity.
*GiveUsLiberty's research finds that taxpayers are held responsible for more than 85% of the medical cost for treatment of pencil-related/inflicted injuries. Every day 79 people are killed by pencils in America.......America! The land of the free, the home of the brave!!!! And we allow ourselves to do this to ourselves? How low can we as a society stoop.
GiveUsLiberty calls upon President almost-elected Obama to speak to this devastating crisis that America faces. Pencils should be considered as deadly as weapons of mass destruction and ought to be heavily regulated or outlawed to the degree that firearms will be regulated and/or banned.
GiveUsLiberty's Policy for the Public Betterment Department is releasing policy language and proposed legislation to confront the pencilious problem that lies ahead of us. Due to the confidentiality of some of the persons working on this project the only information that is being shared with the press is that it will most likely involve creating a Federal bureaucracy called the PSA (Pencil Security Administration) that will conduct house to house searches of citizens homes for free to clear their domain of any harmful pencils that may be lurking in the shadows. Non-compliance will of course result in punishment to be determined by the Legislature and/or the Executive Office....probably will involve lethal lead injection or death by pencil puncturing.
*Research is duplicated from statistics spouted off by an anti-firearms idiot during a stupid debate on whether it was a good day to buy a gun on the weekend of 11/22/08. GiveUsLiberty's real research finds that 87% of statistics are made up off the top of individuals heads anyway. If you are reading this disclaimer you probably know who the referenced anti-firearms idiot is and it would be appreciated if you shared this with him.
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